Apologizing and Forgiving on the Path

Apologizing and Forgiving on the Path

I know I’m not a perfect friend
You’re broken heart, I’ve tried to mend.
Instead I made you hurt and cry
Maybe I should say goodbye.
Would it be better for me to go?
I asked you, and you said “No”.

But believe me,
you’re not the only one that’s sad.
I made my best friend hurt like mad
If I left would you be glad?

Deep in my heart,
I’ll always know,
I’ll love you always,
Even if I go!

(Anonymous)

Each and every one of us has his/ her path to experience the Divine in this dimension. While the human in us strive for this experience we fall many times…and that’s perfectly normal, we are humans after all! But what to do when we consciously or unconsciously hurt or harm especially the dear people around us? What should we do when we hurt or harm any person around us?

Well, here come 2 powerful tools to the rescue. Two powerful tools are available to experience the “Divine” yet more profoundly in us. It is the “power to Apologize” and the “power to Forgive”. And I say “power” because it needs deep faith, strength of character and a lot of Love to do any one of them!
Now what does it mean to apologize? And how should we apologize and why to do it?

First, you need to feel that what you did was wrong. As long as you created harm in others then you have to admit it and be honest that you have already created a chain of negative energy for the others and for you!
Second, take full responsibility for your actions. You can create harm but more importantly you can create Love. So ask yourself why you created harm when you could have created Love?

Third, you need to exercise Empathy with the other (s). It means you have to put yourself in their shoes; try to feel what they felt and try to think the way they think. At this stage you will deeply understand why the other(s) feel your harm.

Fourth, begin with forgiving yourself before the other(s) forgive you. Guilt does not help here. Your deep love is much more needed for your apology to be honest and sincere.

Fifth, forgive the person you are apologizing to! Yes! Apologizing put us face to face with our Ego. There will be a lot of “ego struggle” inside of you until you rise from the “strength of your ego” to the “strength of your Love”. This will create many negative emotions inside of you. Thus, you need to forgive the others for what they created in you!

Sixth, you need to prepare and plan carefully for your apology. It is not an easy task to apologize! The good news is: if you have done the 5 above steps I am sure you can find the right way to do it.

Seventh, remember that you are first doing the apology for your growth and only to experience more the Divine in you. You apologize for your sake first and second for the sake of the other(s)!

On the other hand when others do harm on us what should we do?
The surprise is that you need to forgive them before they apologize to you!
Yes, I know how difficult is that, but again this is another challenge for us yet to experience the Divine on a very deep level. But why should we forgive?
First, when you forgive you allow the other(s) to be human for faults, mistakes or misdeeds. You just put these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.

Second, when you forgive you let the other(s) know that there is no grudge, hard feelings or animosity from their wrongdoing. You just stop any further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event. Let love do the rest!

Third, when you forgive you accept the other(s) apology as genuine remorse for the sorrow, actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. It is your deep felt faith that what was done will not be brought up again. And let Love do the rest!

Fourth, when you forgive is proving to yourself first and to the other(s) that you are beyond the negative energy of being angry, hurt and/or in pain. Let Love heal all your wounds. The greater the Love the faster is the healing.

Fifth, when you forgive you are manifesting the positive energy of compassion, humanity and gentleness by which you let the other(s) know that he/she is indeed a child of the universe who possess a variety of graces and blessings where the current harm doing actions or past offenses need not be a barrier to their goodness.

Sixth, when you forgive you are experiencing the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It means that even when you are vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet with the strength of your character you set this aside in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication.

Seventh, when you forgive you are experiencing a Divine-like gift of spiritually connecting you to the other(s), touching their hearts to calm their fears of rejection, failure and guilt. This is Love in its highest forms!
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie
Are you ready now to apologize? Are you ready now to forgive? Both can become very easy when you start aligning yourself with Love…again!

Namaste’